Friday Flashback

I need something to keep me sane. Whenever exam week comes around, my brain does this weird paradoxical dump. The more information I shove in, the grey matter poops out weird things. Sometimes it's notes to a song, other times it is material for this blog. If it gets really bad, I start thinking of ideas for our school's-annual tradition-that-shall-not-be-named. But for now, here is what happened when I stay up past midnight reading about street drugs. I start taking some. I'm kidding. But I write as if I did:

We had a nice lecture on street drugs this week. Our professor talked about Narcan- a drug that basically brings you back to reality if you have overdosed on certain drugs. The trick is that you have to give it slowly, or else it reverses the high way too fast. Fast enough that the patient becomes a little...well annoyed is a nice word.

Three years ago...

I was scared out of my mind honestly. My patient was sitting up on the stretcher eyes wide open as if I was the devil. I had just finished my training as an EMT-I and was alone in the back of the ambulance while my paramedic partner sped our ambulance down the highway. First day on the job. What do I get? A suspected drug dealer who was probably doing some of her own goods. We found her responsive only to pain, loaded her up, and started some IV's. Without thinking I prepped the Narcan, and just popped it in. Bam. As my partner turned on the lights and sirens and started to head to the hospital, my patient started to stir.

Cool I thought. Pharmacology at work. The nerd inside me was kind of excited. Well it was excited until the patient sat up and stared at me as if she was possessed. Then she started to panic. I had no idea what I was doing by that point. "Um...you should probably relax..." I mumbled while my brain froze. Froze some more while the patient started to yell and take off all of her restraints.

"Umm...ma'am...let's not do that..." I can't remember why but I stood up in an ambulance zooming down the highway at 80 mph, and tried to push her back into the stretcher. Not a good idea to tango in the box at that speed.

Then it really went down hill. "LEMME GO YOU MUTHAFUCKAGETMEOUTTATHISSHIT-"

And that's when she actually opened up the backlatch of the ambulance, and suddenly I saw the surprised look on the driver behind us. I don't know about you, but I totally see the insides of an ambulance while it is flying down the highway everyday.

"JESUS CHRIST. What the fuck is going down back there?"

Luckily years of experience told my partner NOT to slam on the brakes. Or else I would be posting this post from a hospital bed. (But now I realize ambulances really don't have emergency lights- you know the the red triangle you push that flashes all of your blinkers. Kind of redundant, no?)

Anyway, after I nearly tackled the patient to keep her inside of the moving vehicle, we finally rolled to a stop on the side of the highway. Let's just say I learned some interesting knots that night.

Later in the hospital break room, my partner THOROUGHLY educated me. Life lesson of the day: Narcan needs to be giving SLOWLY, or else you have one pissed off druggie.


(standard fictionalization applied to protect privacy)