"Well sir, if I were you I would not call the police on your brother just because he would not let you smoke crack in his house."
"Ma'am I must confess when I heard you were caught running naked in the grocery store with a bag of fry sticks, I thought 'yes fries are indeed delicious.'" (Fry sticks= actually joints dipped in formaldehyde aka embalming fluid with some PCP sprinkled in)
"Yes ma'am, I understand that you think you are Jesus." x2 with women and x1 with a dude.
"Is it me, or is it me?" (Every day for the first week I had patients "terminate the interview" with me either by running away from me, refusing to talk, or getting so agitated I needed to leave before things got out of hand.)
"Why are you afraid of the police?" Insert reasonable answer here. Then insert comment about FBI tapping his phone lines.
Apparently bath salts are the big new drug. That is all. I'm not even halfway through the rotation. More fun later.
Happy New Year’s Resolutions!
3 weeks ago